


swear you wont lose me

by aca_bechloe47



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Christian guilt, F/F, Internalized Homophobia, One Shot, Song fic, beca and chloe being gay for each other for 6 thousand words, bechloe - Freeform, bechloe end game, no there will not be a part 2, pp1 universe but gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:35:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26766625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aca_bechloe47/pseuds/aca_bechloe47
Summary: "Baby, look me in the eyes and swear you wont lose me." -Ocean by Lady ABeca Mitchell had a complicated relationship with her parents, but being gay was never something she'd had to be ashamed of. There was an obvious attraction to a red headed acapella nerd, but what happens when Chloe's strict Christian upbringing get's in the way of the two women being happy. Will Beca and Chloe lose their only real chance at happiness?
Relationships: Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell
Comments: 8
Kudos: 73





	swear you wont lose me

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning!   
> Internalized Homophobia  
> Slight Christian Bashing (sorry don't want to offend any of you religious folks)
> 
> Song's that inspired this fic:  
> Little Miss Perfect by Taylor Louderman  
> Ocean by Lady A  
> (title and lyrics used in fic from Ocean by Lady A)
> 
> I do not own the songs used, or the characters/universe. This is all for fun (cuz angst is the best ;)

The day Beca found her father sucking face with her best friend's mom was the day she lost trust in men. It was the first real betrayal she’d ever felt, and the one she’d always expect every other disappointment in her life to feel like. That was also the day Beca lost everything, her hero/dad, her mom, her best friend, and her normal life. 

After Warren left their family, Beca’s mom Heather sort of just… shut down. Effectively leaving a 14 year old Beca all on her own, and fending for not only herself but the older woman as well. 

She no longer had the luxury of being a kid, she now had to provide for herself and her mom (when she’d eat that is). 

Trying to find a job at 14 wasn’t an easy thing, most people would laugh in her face and march her out the door when she asked about an open position. So she found herself doing odd jobs here and there. And the occasional stealing… Not that it was a great thing to do exactly. But she had to eat.

A teacher at Beca’s school noticed that Beca was rather tired and worn out every day and many people were brought in to check on Beca. Miraculously, Beca’s mom was able to snap out of it long enough to convince them that she was fine and capable of taking care of Beca… 

In the end, they allowed her to stay with her mom, and her mom got better, kinda.

But Beca was beyond hard hearted now. She’d spent so long trying to stand up for herself and provide for her and her mom, she felt as though she didn’t need to be parented. She didn't hate her mom or even resent her, but she didn’t feel like she needed her in the traditional sense either. 

Beca’s relationship with her mom remained the same for the next two years, she was happy that her mom seemed to be more invested in her life and all but honestly she was a grownup now whether her age reflected that or not. Her inability to let her mom in seemed to cause the older woman to shut down again. Not as much but somewhere in between where she was before and for the short period of time after the incident with the therapists… 

Beca soon found herself graduating from high school and on her way to… College?

“Dad, I’m not going to Barden, I’m moving to LA.” Beca huffed into the phone. 

_ “With what money, Beca?”  _ Warren sighed having already made up his mind. He also somehow managed to talk her mom into this too… How could they make this choice for her, without even asking her? This was such bullshit. 

“The money I’ve been saving since I was 14.” Beca stated, not bothering to hide her annoyance. 

_ “That will last you what? A month? Maybe two if you only eat once a day?”  _ Warren gave a mocking laugh.  _ “Beca if you come to Barden you can get your education, for free, I might add, and that can only help you decide what you want to do with your life.”  _

“I already know what I want to do, dad. I want to move to LA and start working toward producing music. You’d know that if you ever tried to get to know me instead of just acting like you know what’s best for me.” Beca barked back. She knew that nothing she said would change her father's mind, but she wasn’t going to let him do this without a fight. 

_ “If you go for at least one year then we can talk about you moving to LA and how much I will help you. But you have to go for a year and actually try.”  _ Warren stated. This piqued Beca’s interest… 

“Are you serious?” Beca asked in disbelief. She knew her dad was bribing her but she was all for taking advantage of the system and by system she meant her sperm donor. 

_ “Yes, I’m serious.”  _

And with that one statement, and against her better judgement Beca found herself booking a flight to Barden, Georgia. 

**XxX**

Growing up, Chloe Beale wasn’t sure of much, but she was sure of one thing, being gay was not acceptable. 

Being from a small, religious community meant that there were certain things that were unavoidable. Chloe had been expected to go to church every Sunday, to date the pastor's son,and one day be married in the old white church. Being gay was completely, 100% out of the question for her. And while living in the small town, under her parents roof, it was rather easy to pretend she wasn’t hiding a massive secret. Hell, even the first two years at Barden, it was easy to pretend like she was perfectly  _ normal _ . Like she was the same little perfect christian. 

But slowly the inevitable began to creep into her life. The truth became harder and harder to run away from. Soon, she couldn’t lie to herself anymore. 

The first time she ever kissed a girl, it was an accident. Aubrey didn’t seem to care and they both agreed to just chalk it up to a stupid, in the moment, mistake. But that one incident caused a domino affect in her life. 

Chloe had never said the words aloud. She never really saw anything wrong with gay people, in fact some of her best friends were openly gay but for some reason it was so much easier to love and accept them for who they were then to allow herself the same courtesy. 

She… knew better? Right? 

What if God was wrong? What if being gay really wasn’t that bad? What if she didn’t have to always be little miss perfect all the time? 

But Chloe didn’t allow herself to think about it. She didn’t allow herself to dwell on something she knew she could never have. Even if she found it in herself to accept the truth, she knew her parents and brother never would. She couldn’t lose them, so instead she just slowly killed herself from the inside out. 

It was easy to pretend she wasn’t dying. It was easy to pretend like she was happy and content with her life. It was easy to convince herself that she did actually love Tom. But that all changed the first official day of her Senior Year at Barden University. That all came crashing down because of one snarky, sarcastic, brunette with scary ear spikes and eyeliner so intense that it looked like it belong on a member of the band Kiss instead of a 5 foot nothing freshman. 

“Hi! Any interest in joining our acapella group?” Chloe found herself asking, ignoring Aubrey’s dumbfounded look, after she’d just told Chloe she was too alternative for the Bella’s. 

“Oh right, this is like a thing now…” The girl seemed to have a sarcastic underlying tone in her voice, Chloe chose to ignore it. 

“Oh tots! We sing covers of songs, but we do it without any instruments. It’s all from our mouths.” Chloe rambled… She looks smart… She knows what acapella is… Chloe berated herself. 

The girl went on to slightly (not so slightly) mock acapella and Chloe should have found her rather rude but there was just something about her eyes… Chloe wondered if she’d ever stop picturing those blue eyes. 

**XxX**

Beca had always been comfortable with her sexuality. It wasn’t hard for her to admit that the red head was very very attractive… The blonde seemed like a bitch but damn… Red was hot and she seemed super sweet. Beca felt kinda bad for the way she talked to her, but acapella? Seriously? 

Beca however had wished she’d been able to get the girls name… Maybe she could have asked her out at some point? 

But as far as she was concerned she’d never meet the red head ever again…

**XxX**

“Hey, Aubrey, did we just learn the same choreography from that video?” Beca found herself asking at the end of Bella’s rehearsal. 

The amount of shit that happened to find herself standing in this position was wild and very very unexpected… 

It was all because of a certain red head who barged into her shower… Freaking Chloe and her inability to understand personal space… 

But now here she stood, dealing with the Aca-Hitler herself… who was currently ignoring her question… 

She knew the blonde was a bitch from the very first second she met her…

After a very hilariously terrible excuse for a team cheer… Aubrey turned to Beca. 

“Um oh Beca, a word?” Beca stopped walking away and turned to look at the ‘leader’ of the Bella’s. 

“Sup?” She asked, trying to play nice. 

“You know you’re going to have to take those ear monstrosities out for the fall mixer…” Aubrey was trying her best to stay professional, or at least what Beca assumed was her professional side. 

“You really don’t like me, do you?” Beca laughed. 

The ridiculous conversation continued and Beca found it incredibly hard not to laugh when Aubrey accused her of having a ‘toner’ for the acapella nerd, Puppy dog eyed, man child named Jesse… If only she knew Beca’s real target was standing on the other side of the auditorium, pretending she wasn’t listening. 

After yelling that it wasn’t a ‘toner’ Aubrey was seeing but rather her dick, Beca walked out of the rehearsal space and toward her dorm… Cursing Aca-Hitler the whole way home. 

**XxX**

**Chloe: Hey! Whatcha doin? :)**

**Beca: Laying on my bed, pretending intro to philosophy doesn’t exist... You?**

**Chloe: So ur home?**

**Beca: Yes.**

A response didn’t come from Chloe in the form of a text but rather a loud knocking on her dorm room door. 

Beca shook her head and yelled, “It’s open.” 

The door opened and in walked the red head, Beca wasn’t surprised at all that Chloe had just come over. She was surprised the girl bothered to knock at all… Wasn’t her style. 

“Sup Beale?” Beca scooted over on the bed and allowed Chloe to collapse on it with her. 

“Just got out of Russian Lit and wanted something to lift my spirits.” Chloe explained with a sigh. 

“Not so good this time ‘round?” Beca asked, her hand naturally resting on Chloe’s hip. She didn’t even realize it was there until she felt Chloe lean into the touch. 

“It’s never good.” Chloe sighed, her eyes slid closed momentarily, almost as if she were allowing herself to relax at the mier presence of Beca. 

“Are you okay?” Beca asked, concern lacing her tone. 

“I failed my test from last time.” Chloe sighed, clearly fighting back tears. 

“I’m sorry, Chlo.” Beca sighed, she knew that Chloe had studied really hard for that test. “What can I do to help?” 

“Just lay here.” Chloe sighed, her eyes closing again, and Beca was totally fine with just being with Chloe. 

She had yet to tell the girl about her true feelings, but from some of the things she’d heard Chloe talk about, she was a Christian. And that right there was enough to stop Beca from saying the truth… She didn’t know if Chloe was straight or gay or whatever and didn’t want to ruin their friendship. Sure there were times Chloe seemed to be hinting at things but Beca didn’t want to read into anything… Chloe was too important to her. 

**XxX**

There was something about being with Beca that just made Chloe feel… safe. Cared about. Seen. She’s never felt that way with anyone else before, at least not to this degree. She’d never fallen asleep in someone else’s bed as they stroked her hip and hummed Titanium. She’d never been on the verge of an emotional breakdown, to then suddenly have it disappear simply because she was with the only person in her life she wanted to see. 

Beca had become a sort of safety blanket to her… 

Whenever things were good, she went to Beca.

Things were bad? Beca. 

When things were impossible? Beca…

She found herself wondering if Beca felt the same way she was starting to feel? What was she starting to feel? 

Not lo… No. No, it wasn’t that and she wasn’t thinking about that. Beca was her best friend, nothing more. Best friends cuddled in bed all the time, right? The occasional kiss on the forehead… Best friends could do those kinds of things… Right??

**XxX**

Beca pressed the bottle against her lips, the smirk still playing across her face before she tips the liquor up and drains some of it’s content into her mouth. She swallows without even a grimace and hands the bottle over to Chloe, who accepts it but doesn’t drink, at least not right away. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Chloe finds herself asking the still smirking brunette. 

“You’re beautiful.” Beca explained, the words slurred slightly. 

The red head drank from the bottle in an attempt to get her stomach to calm the fuck down. Beca had a way of messing with her emotions and she hated it. 

Beca’s stormy blue eyes seemed to bore into Chloe’s. As if she could see straight into her heart. As if she were laying completely exposed in front of the woman. Chloe knew that should terrify her, but it didn’t… Why didn’t it terrify her? 

Slowly the brunette's hand reached up and began to absentmindedly play with a small section of red hair, lacing it in and out of her finger. Their eyes still locked on one another's. 

Chloe knew her mind should be screaming, telling her to back the fuck up, but instead there’s nothing but radio silence in her head. She suddenly loses the ability to breath as she watches Beca slowly edge her way forward. Her eyes drifted to her lips. Chloe instinctively bit her bottom lip in anticipation. 

Her breath completely ceases to exist when Beca’s lips are finally pressed against her own. Her eyes flutter closed and her own lips begin to move, parting slightly to accommodate the new addition. 

Her heart is fluttering as she matches the other woman’s pace. Their lips forming against the others with ease. 

The whole world seems to stop at that moment.

And just as she begins to fully give into the very thing she’s wanted for years, she hears her own voice screaming in her head. 

_ “What are you doing? You know what this will do to your reputation. You can’t afford to throw it all away now. It’s not like this is love. You know nothing about love!” _

Gasping for air, Chloe pushes Beca away, effectively ending the kiss. Beca looks startled but not angry. 

“Are you okay?” She asks, her voice slightly softer than her normal overly sarcastic tone. 

“We can’t do this.” Chloe states, gasping for air but not seeming to fill her lungs. Chloe stood up, trying to put distance between her and the very woman she didn’t want to be away from… It was safer this way. It was safer to keep her at an arm's length or she didn't know how much she could trust herself to not be a complete idiot. 

“Do what? Is there some rule about Bella’s being with each other?” Beca asked, completely missing Chloe’s point. 

“No. Beca you don’t get it. I’m not…” She gestured wildly in the air, trying to get her point across without having to verbally lie. 

Beca gave a soft laugh. “Come on, Beale, I know you’ve kissed plenty of people. So what, I’m your first girl? I don’t mind teaching you a thing or too.” The smirk that played across her face again was almost enough to make Chloe completely forget about her resolve and sink back into the woman. Almost…

“No, Beca. I’m not… I’m not like you.” Chloe said, trying again but knew that she was just going to have to spit out the bitter lie. “I don’t swing that way.” 

Beca looked at her, her eyebrow raised before she shook her head and laughed bitterly. “Really? We’re going with that lie?” 

“It’s not a lie, Beca. I’m not gay.” The words induce a feeling comparable to the worst acid reflux anyone could ever have but she had to dig her heels in and continue to be strong. She can’t risk it all. Not right now. 

“Ha, sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Beca laughed, the bitterness far more evident in her tone then it was before. She stood up from her spot on her floor. “I think you should go. Can’t let you risk getting caught with me. I’m sure that would cause a pretty long fall from that throne of yours...” 

“Beca come on, don’t be like that.” Chloe looked down in shame. 

“No. Just forget it happened. Tell yourself whatever fucking lie you need to to keep up with your ‘Little Miss Perfect’ reputation.” Beca scoffed. 

“Beca, it’s not a lie, but that doesn’t change that I want to be your friend.”

“Stop fucking lying to me! You and I both know that’s bullshit!” Beca was yelling at this point. “You can’t risk people actually seeing the real you, so you’ll just shove it down and deny the truth that’s inside you. Pretend like it never happened. You can fool the rest of the Bella’s and your family. Hell, you can even try to fool yourself, but don’t try to fucking pull that shit on me.” 

Chloe looked down in shame. She had nothing to say, she couldn't muster up another lie. Not to Beca. She cared too much about her, even if it didn’t seem like it in the moment. 

“You’re so wrapped up in your own internalized homophobia you can’t even see how miserable you are, can you?” Beca asked, her tone almost soft and caring. “You’re so worried about what they’ll think of you that you’re willing to live a lie? Terrified of what some book says?” 

“It’s not a lie.” Chloe tries pathetically. Her voice barely above a whisper. 

“Stop lying.” Beca ordered, the heat was in her tone but not the volume. “You know you have feelings for me, Chloe.” 

Chloe looked up at the brunette, tears brimming her eyes. “I… I can’t.” 

“Why can’t you?” Beca asks, not letting Chloe off the hook that easily. 

“You don’t get it, Beca…” Chloe sighed. “You wouldn’t understand. You being gay is different then me…”

“You think me being out is easy?” Beca scoffed. “Are you fucking serious? Do you have any clue what I go through on a daily basis because I’m out? Do you have any idea what a strain that’s caused on my already terrible relationship with my dad? Or the fact that my mom isn’t even aware enough to be there to support me? You’re honestly going to stand there and tell me that it’s easy for me? What’s easier? The fact that I’m not concerned about some fairytale god thinks about me?”

Chloe regretted the words as soon as they came out, and each word Beca spoke seemed to come with an earth shattering blow. She felt like she was drowning. 

“If you need time to work through it, I get that. I would never force you to be out when you weren't ready, but if you can’t even trust me… Chloe, you know that’s such bullshit.” 

“I’m not gay.” Chloe sighed, she knew with that statement she ruined any chance of being with Beca… She knew she’d hurt Beca beyond repair. 

“You’re gonna stand there and tell me you feel nothing for me? Are you serious?” Beca seemed to glar down at her, making Chloe feel small and ashamed. The shame she felt was far worse than any shame she would ever feel from ‘god’. “Fuck it. If I really meant anything to you, you wouldn’t feel like you have to hide it from me too.” 

“Beca, it’s not that simple.” Chloe tried to explain but had no words… nothing that could save this sinking ship she was trapped on. 

The single worst thing she could say at this moment, the final nail in her coffin came out as a whisper. 

“It’s not worth it.” She whispered more to herself then to Beca, but all the brunette could hear was as if Chloe had just screamed in her face, ‘ _ You’re not worth it.’ _

Fighting the tears that threatened to break the surface, Beca did the only thing she knew how to do. Shutting off all emotions, she stared into Chloe’s eyes, this time her own were cold and hard, “Get the fuck out.” 

Choe looked at her in shock, it wasn’t the command but the full meaning behind the words. She knew Beca didn’t just mean her room, but her life. 

“Beca…” She began but how the hell was she supposed to repair the damage that had already been done. 

“You need to go.” Beca stated, bitterness lacing her words. “Don’t want you being late for your precious Bella’s rehearsal tomorrow. I mean Little Miss Perfect has a reputation to uphold.”

Chloe opened and closed her mouth, trying to search for words… anything at all to lessen the huge hole that was rapidly forming in her heart, but she found nothing… 

Knowing she couldn’t say anything to change the situation, Chloe left the room without so much as another glance to the woman she loved, but could never have. 

**XxX**

The news that came the next day at Bella’s rehearsal was enough to completely shatter Chloe. Beca had quit the Bella’s, over a text to Aubrey. 

Aubrey had demanded some sort of explanation from Chloe, not because she thought something had happened between the two friends but because Chloe knew Beca the best. 

Beca had quit the Bella's and it was all her fault…. 

**XxX**

Weeks passed, and Beca hadn’t seen or spoken to Chloe. Not that she was complaining…

Quitting the Bella’s was hard. She would be lying if she said she didn’t miss them. But the thought of facing Chloe after all the horrible things that were said that night… the night she fucked up and ruined everything… It was just too much. 

Quitting was the only option. 

So when spring break rolled around, Beca made the choice to fly home to Seattle, and see her mom. 

She was originally supposed to stay at Barden, but the thought of being there for a week by herself was just way too depressing, so she might as well go home and check on her mom. See how things were actually going. 

Heather claimed everything was good, but Beca needed to see it with her own eyes. 

The flight back was long. Like super long. But being home was a weirdly nice change. One that allowed Beca to push the restart button in her own life. 

“Hi hun.” Beca’s mom pulled her into a hug, and it was so incredibly comforting. God, she’d missed her mom. 

Seeing the house clean and organized, even though she’d been gone for months was an interesting sight. Her mom really did seem to be doing better. 

“I’m going to drop my bag in my room. I’ll be down in a minute.” Beca explained and left her mom downstairs. 

**XxX**

There was something almost inspiring about being home. Beca had been unable to write, in months, a single line worth the paper it was written on. But on her third night home, her brain would not shut up at 2am. The words seemed to flow out of her. A melody wrote itself in her mind. The tears that fell from her eyes splashing upon the surface of the desk below. 

She’d never written an entire song in a matter of hours. She’d never felt so connected to the words, to the emotions. She’d never truly cried over the meaning behind something she’s written. But here she sat, staring at the words and knew that this was the single most important thing to ever come out of her mind. 

Sliding up to her keyboard, she began to play and sing along with the words she’d written. 

_ “No, I’m not afraid to drown,  _

_ Take me out, take me down _

_ I’m so tired of the shore, let me in baby _

_ You’re an ocean beautiful and blue _

_ I wanna swim in you.”  _

The final words seemed to echo through her room as she finished the song, the crushing blow of defeat and loss crashing like waves around her. Her sarrowings being pulling her down into it’s watery depths.

“Who’s the girl?” Beca turned to see her mom standing in her doorway, having no idea when the woman appeared there. 

“I’m sorry, I forgot how late it was.” Beca stated, brushing the tears away. 

“Bec, what’s going on?” Her mom asked, ignoring Beca’s apology. She walked in and sat on Beca’s bed, putting her arm out for her daughter. Beca accepted her hand in a rare moment of affection as the tears began to spill again. 

“Her name is Chloe…” Beca sighed, red hair and piercing blue eyes flashing through her mind. 

**XxX**

Chloe sat at the kitchen table in her parents house. Her mom was busying herself in the kitchen and her dad and brother were talking about politics or baseball or something… she didn’t know and she didn’t care. 

Chloe absentmindedly scrolled through Instagram, her heart stopping when she came to a picture of Beca at the Seattle airport. Beca had gone home for Spring Break too… She couldn’t help but wonder how the brunette was doing… 

“Chloe, dear, will you set the table please?” Her mother, Mary, asked from the kitchen. 

“Of course.” Chloe smiled and stashed her phone into her backpocket. It was no longer in front of her eyes but Beca’s face had burned itself into her mind. 

Chloe felt as though she were going to burst at any moment. There was no way her family didn’t know… right? Like no fucking way… 

She knew the truth, she knew she was gay. She had finally said the words aloud to herself the night before flying home. So if she knew, her family had to know too? She feared ‘Lesbian’ was written on her face or something… It just seemed glaringly obvious. But she wondered if it would be such a bad thing if they knew… Maybe it would be easier. She could finally figure out who she was. Who she truly wanted to be without being ‘Little Miss Perfect’ all the time…

“You okay, Chlo-bug?” Chloe looked up from her spot on the porch and smiled as her dad sat down beside her. 

“Yeah, I’m good.” She lied. 

John Beale was a rough around the edges sort of man. He grew up on a dairy farm, and now ran it. He was your traditional, God-fearing, farmer who loved god more than his kids and that was just the way it was. But he always had a soft spot for his little girl. “Come on now, don’t lie to your old man.” 

Chloe chuckled at him. She didn’t know how he always managed to do that… Know when something was bothering her. 

“I just had a fight with my friend and it ended really badly.” Chloe explained, sharing as little details as she could manage. 

“Are they a good friend? Someone you want in your life?” John asked, his eyes scanned out at the night sky. 

Chloe thought for a moment, Beca flashing into her mind. “Yeah… yeah they are.”

“Do you love her?” John asked, completely taking Chloe off guard. 

“What?” She asked, her eyes snapping over to him, but he kept his own cast in front of him, looking at the night sky. 

“Not a hard question, Chloe. You in love with her?” He explained, but his tone was anything but disappointed or disgusted. It was almost too much for Chloe to handle, the way he was talking so casually about it. 

“Yeah,” She said aloud for the first time. “Yeah, i love her.” 

“So… what you gonna do bout it?” He asked, looking over at her for the first time. 

“Daddy, it’s wrong…” Chloe began, trying to see if he’d take the bait. 

“Bullshit.” John swore, he wasn’t much for swearing but when he did, he meant it… “Love ain’t wrong. Who you are ain’t wrong.”

“But the Bible..” She was so shocked by the man’s behavior. 

“The Bible is a great book, but it ain’t God.” He stated. “You being happy and yourself can’t be a sin, Chloe. You get to be happy. I don’t care what some damned book says.” 

Tears formed in Chloe’s eyes, unsure how to respond or react to her father’s words. She never expected something like this from him. 

“How long have you known?” Chloe asked… Unable to think of anything else to say. 

“‘bout three days,” John laughed, pulling her into him. “I don’t mean to spy but when you look at the same picture of a girl for five minutes straight, hard to miss, kiddo.” 

Chloe let out a watery laugh. She knew her dad was a great man, but this was unexpected. “And mama?” 

“She might not know as much as I do, but in her own way, she knows and she loves you for who ya are.” He stated. “Now, stop avoiding the question, what you gonna do ‘bout it?” 

Chloe thought back to Beca, to the kiss, to the hurt in her eyes as she told Chloe to leave… 

“I need to apologize.” She stated simply. 

**XxX**

Pulling up the contact info on her phone, Chloe was surprised to see three little dots, indicating that someone was already typing on the other end… 

**Beca: Are you back at school yet?**

**Chloe: Yeah, just got here. You?**

**Beca: Can you meet me at the Bella’s auditorium?**

**Chloe: Yeah.**

**Beca: Be there in 10.**

Chloe felt her heart racing in her chest… What the hell was she doing? Why did Beca want to meet?

Her walk to the auditorium was a strange one. Silence filled the space around her even though there were large amounts of people, everywhere. 

All she could hear was the sound of her own heart beating. 

She was there before Beca, which only made waiting worse… 

The ‘what if’s’ and ‘why’s’ entered her mind, bouncing around in rapid succession. 

“Hey.” Beca’s voice broke Chloe out of her daze. She looked over at the door to see a sheepish looking Beca walking in slowly. 

“Hi.” Chloe sighed, both relieved and terrified to see the other woman. 

“Thanks for coming.” Beca explained, running her hand nervously through her hair. “I uh wasn’t sure you’d show up.” 

“Of course I would.” Chloe rushed out. 

“Look, I know things got like crazy weird between us and I’m really sorry for what I did…” Beca began. “I had no right to kiss you. I should have asked and I didn’t…”

“It’s not your fault, Beca.” She couldn’t stand to hear Beca apologize for her mistakes. “Everything you said that night was true. I was so concerned about what other’s thought, I wouldn't just let myself be happy. I couldn’t be honest with myself, which meant I couldn’t be honest with you… It was so unfair. I’m so sorry.” 

“You don’t have to…” Beca began but was cut off by Chloe again. 

“You have every right to hate me, and to want nothing more to do with me. I’m sorry for everything I did.” Chloe sighed. 

“Chloe.” Beca stated. “Let me sing something for you. Please.” 

She looked up at Beca, shock evident in her eyes. “Okay.” 

Beca walked over to the piano and ushered Chloe to stand beside it. “I wrote this and it’s going to sound intense, the meaning at least… But it’s really just a letter to you and I need you to hear it before you say anything else.”

Chloe nodded her head, her heart pounding loudly in her chest as she watched Beca take in a deep breath, and place her fingers on the keys. 

_ “How can someone stand so damn close,  _

_ And feel like they’re worlds away? _

_ I can see your sad story eyes _

_ So how do you have no words to say? _

_ “All I want is to fall in deeper that I’ve ever been  _

_ Why won’t you let me? _

_ I can handle your heart  _

_ So help me, here you are, next to me _

_ So much beauty at my feet _

_ All I wanna do is swim _

_ But the waves keep crashin’ in _

_ No I’m not afraid to drown _

_ Take me out, take me down _

_ I’m so tired of the shore, let me in baby _

_ You’re an ocean beautiful and blue. _

_ I wanna swim in you.”  _

Chloe felt the tears stinging her eyes as she heard Beca’s pleading words to just let her be in Chloe’s life… To just let her in. To let her love her. 

Only one line really filled Chloe’s mind as Beca continued to sing.

_ “Baby look at me and swear you won’t lose me.” _

Just as Beca was about to start the next part of the song, Chloe stopped her abruptly by pulling her into a kiss. Beca seemed to freeze at her touch, but quickly recovered and moved her lips in time with the red heads. 

Chloe couldn't help but smile into the kiss. 

“I love you and I’m not going anywhere,” She muttered against Beca’s lips, tears still wetting her cheeks. 

“It’s about damn time!” Was shouted from near the door of the auditorium. Beca and Chloe pulled away from each other and their heads snapped over to see the entire group of Bella’s standing there. Aubrey at the front of the group, rolling her eyes, but the smile plastered on her face gave away her true feelings. 

“Go away!” Beca shouted before turning back to Chloe and whispering in her ear, “I love you too.” 

**Author's Note:**

> This was an interesting one to write and one that carries a lot of my own upbringing in. I grew up religious and a lot of what Chloe goes through in this fic are similar to what I felt and faced. If only my dad had been as loving and accepting as Chloe's. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Please leave a review and let me know what you think. If you have any ideas for one shots that you'd like to see me write you can submit them to my tumblr at becas-bluebiird.
> 
> Thanks!  
> -Tay


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